1/7 Trunk Girl (Native) NSFW

Wow, has it been a while since I last wrote a review, or what? My sincerest apologies to our readers for taking such a long, unannounced break. If I've learned anything, it's that life has a way of interrupting at the most inconvenient times!

That being said, I have a lot of figures to catch up on. Today we'll be looking a tone of Native's naked and creative ladies. She's lithe. She's twisty. She's Trunk Girl! Read on, O readers!

2013: Year in Review

Hey-yo, all you gorgeous homo sapiens. Happy New Years to all! So another year has gone and what have we to show for it? Slightly fuller Detolfs and a basement full of cardboard boxes, that's what. If I sound bitter, I assure you, I'm not. After the insane year-long shopping spree I went on in 2012, I kicked my own butt and budgeted for 2013. If 2012 was the year of loose wallets, 2013 is the year of prude wallets. I set myself a stringent list of rules to reign my spending habits this year.

Chibi-Arts Sinbad (Bandai Exclusive) slightly NSFW

It took a while, but I'm glad a nice little Magi – The Labyrinth of Magic figure was released!  Sinbad, high king of the seven seas, is the first to get a Chibi-Arts figure from Bandai and I have to say “huzzah!” to that because he’s one of my favourite characters!

Despite him being an exclusive and costing me more than what I would normally pay for a small figure, I’m glad I managed to snag him during the early pre-order period at Big in Japan.  The price for Sin eventually shot up at several other stores near the release date.  Even now it’s incredibly hard to find him at a decent price.  Was he worth the 5890 yen I paid?  Well, let’s take a look, shall we?

1/7 Miku Hatsune (Max Factory)

Does this count as a retro-review? 2009 was, oh god, four entire years ago. Time, come back! I'm not done with you yet!

Granted, I didn't get my hands on this figure until recently, so retro or not, she's still "new" to me. Since I obtained Max Factory's beautiful Luka figure, I've been scouring the Miku-scape for a perfect match. Sure, I already have GSC's Miku Lat and Racing Miku 2011, but neither look great beside Luka. So I did what I do best, and began a systematic hunt for a partner.

Wonfes Summer 2013! (some NSFW content)

Summer Wonfes has come and gone, bringing with it a veritable orgy of plastic goodness to tease and tickle the senses—and what a numinous orgy it was! Here at Poke the Merch, we are solemnly consulting physicians to discover which organs we can safely pawn in exchange for figure funds. After all, we have our priorities straight.

So, given the better-than-expected showing this Wonfes, what did we find especializing tantalizing?

1/8 Princess of the Crystal (GSC)

"Let's initiate the survival strategy!"—Princess of the Crystal

Once in a while, I pick up a figure that doesn't have guns a-blazin', booty a-bouncin', or bases a-stounding. Once in a while, I pick up figures because I like the character (shocking, I know). Princess of the Crystal had a slew of  memorable moments in Mawaru Penguin Drum. She's flamboyant, blunt, dominating, and able to deliver a deadpan seiron senryaku. She made me laugh, and laughter is a surefire way to my heart.

Oh Noes!: Hacker's Amputation

Ah, it's been a while since we last had an Oh Noes! How nostalgic!

Sadly, the longer you collect, the higher your chances of having a mishap.  Nevermind fault or folly, accidents happen. Stuff breaks. Things fall. We have naught to do but take to the Internet, vent our frustrations, and mope. If anything, they at least make interesting stories. Oh life, you and your villainous trials!

1/8 Leviathan (Amakuni) NSFW

Did I not tell you I was as shallow as a hastily assembled grave? Half the figures I have are of characters I have no knowledge about, and Leviathan is yet another notch on my stick. According to my research, the Seven Deadly Sins aren't anything. Not a show. Not a manga. Not a game. Not yet anyway. An anime production is in the works, but so far, only two episodes have been confirmed. Nevertheless, figure companies weren't going to let these busty beauties slip through their fingers, not when there was a chance to capitalize.

1/8 Totori Helmold (Phat Company)

Occasionally, there is a figure that appeals to Poke as a whole rather than Poke as a half. Suich has extensive experience with Atelier Totori, but also the common sense not to get sucked into this messy "figure" business. On the other hand, Jenn's is Atelier-ignorant, but bought her figure anyway. That's just how she rolls. 

Given our respective expertise, this only makes sense. This is the only way. You can even call it fate. Time for a joint review.

1/8 Tenshi exclusive ver. (GSC)

Behold! Tenshi descends from heaven to grace the earth with cuteness and charm—

Wait, wait, wait, didn't I already do a Tenshi review? Well, yes I did, and kudos to you for being so clever. But it's common knowledge that everyone could use an extra angel, so the when GSC announced they were releasing an exclusive Tenshi, complete with glorious, sweeping wings, I freaked like balls.