2014: Year in Review (NSFW)

As the year draws to a close and a new one commences, I am forced once again to confront the financial and emotional budget of my wonderful hobby life. With 2015 sweeping away the woes of 2014, how, might we say, did my collecting journey evolve? The new year is a time for reflection, resolutions, and a brand new outlook on life. Learning experiences are abound, realizations are to be made, and statistics are to be analyzed. So, without further ado, I present to you a summary of my plastic conquests.

1/7 Sonico Santa swimsuit ver. (Alter)

Finally, it's appropriate to review Santa swimsuit Sonico (stranger sentences are possible, but rare). See, I've had this Sonico kicking around since Alter decided to release her in May, but never bothered to take pictures of her, because a Santa hood would look too darn silly against a lush, green lawn.

When Alter announced they were finally jumping on the Sonico bandwagon, I did an unsuccessful backflip. Sonico and Alter? Talk about blowing my mind.

1/7 Miku Hatsune ver. Type 2020 (Max Factory)

Seventh Dragon 2020 Miku is a prime example of an obligatory buy. With Max Factory's Samurai and Hacker already under my belt, was there any viable doubt I would add Idol Miku to the mix? None. Blame my rampant collector's mentality.

So, did collector's mentality result in a good purchase? Maybe. Maybe not. I speaketh no spoilers. Not in this preview, anyway. You'll just have to read on.

1/8 Estellise Sidos Heurassein (Alter)

She's pink.  She's bubbly.  She's the princess of Zaphias!  Estellise Sidos Heurassein (or Estelle for short) makes an appearance at Poke the Merch as my first 1/8 scale figure!  Alter seems to be shelling out lots of Tales of series figures and thanks to Ash and her sister Lisa, I managed to get one of them!  It was hard to say no to Estelle because she looked incredibly sweet and lovely in the preview pictures.  And I must say, she looks just as lovely displayed on my desk.

Wonfes Winter 2014

The following the a true to life reaction of Poke the Merch upon seeing Winter Wonder Festival 2014: "My god, it's ALL Kan Colle!"

We're not kidding. We might even be a bit traumatized. Sure, there were other figures here and there, but it was mostly Kan Colle. How one series became so dominate in terms of representation is a mystery to us. We suspect conspiracy (or overwhelming firepower). So we ducked our heads, peeled our eyes, and sought out the few figures brave enough to stand among the crush of personified war machines.

Wonfes Summer 2013! (some NSFW content)

Summer Wonfes has come and gone, bringing with it a veritable orgy of plastic goodness to tease and tickle the senses—and what a numinous orgy it was! Here at Poke the Merch, we are solemnly consulting physicians to discover which organs we can safely pawn in exchange for figure funds. After all, we have our priorities straight.

So, given the better-than-expected showing this Wonfes, what did we find especializing tantalizing?

1/8 Alvis E. Hamilton & Lavie Head (Alter)

Has it really been almost a decade since Last Exile aired? Where did all that time go? I'm not sure I remember much from the show except that I marathoned it one weekend and enjoyed it.

When Alter announced their new Alvis and Lavie figures, my frugal senses went wild. Sure, they're tiny, and sure, they're not that fancy, but they're still two figures in one box, and that was enough to warrent a pre-order. Plus it's Range Murata and Alter. Team of champions. READ ON.

1/8 Stocking Anarchy (Alter)

"Seriously, go dry-hump something! I'm too hungry to deal with your shit!" -Stocking

Isn't she lovely? Here comes everyone's favourite sweet-loving, ghost-shaggin', big-breasted, gothic lolita angel sister. Now if you've been following, you'll know I prefer Panty to Stocking, but Stocking is just too damned beautiful to pass up. Besides, they're a pair. One without the other is like Sherlock without Watson, functional, but not nearly as entertaining.

2012: Year in Review!

Happy New Year, all you beautiful, crazy people out there.

So, another year gone by and what have we got? More merch, more cheer, and slightly emptier wallets. 2012 was the year of indulgences. Used figures and spontaneous buys galore! Restraint? Never heard of it! And what do I have to show it? Dozens of beautiful ladies and thin magazines filled with magic.  It hurt like repeated lashes to the rear, but it was worth it. After all, collecting is masochism sublimated.

1/8 Honma "Menma" Meiko (Alter)

Of all the innocuous ghosts out there, Menma is the cutest. You heard me, Casper. You've been usurped.

Being my third favourite girl from Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai (gosh, what a name), I debated long and hard on whether to keep her pre-order. Nary a week passed where I didn't consider cancelling her. In the end, I stuck with her, and it was the right decision by far. By far.

1/8 Panty Anarchy (Alter)

"But that's why I can't let myself be weighed down by fuckin' regrets. A bitch lives as free as a bird that can never be caught." -Panty

Oh, Panty, sing me a rainbow one day, will you? Your little silver tongue  astounds me with its venturesome verbiage.

When Alter unveiled their Panty figure there was swooning all around. She's beautiful, fans concluded, but what else did we expect? She's certified Alter.

1/8 Yagyu Jubei White Swimsuit Ver. (Alter)

When Alter decided to release Jubei with a transparent bikini, Curiosity compelled me to take a closer look.

But let's be honest, the bikini scene has been done to death. Mostly, the girls stand around looking naked and sexual and somewhat static. Thankfully, Yagyu Jubei defines herself in a number of ways. First, she has a distinctive way of stashing swords, and second, hot damn, she's an Alter! Throw in some hallmark Alter detail and this can only turn out well.

May: May-jor Merch Expected!

We got a few of you in April, didn't we? Don't deny it! Two of our last previews were actually made by ourselves and our awesome friends. Sorry we're so astoundingly skilled. We apologise if we got your hopes up, only to dash them with incredible cruelty. It's what we do best.  We promise not to pull any hijinks with you in May. After all, May is a big month. May is filled with wondrous, spring-fresh merchandise, and we're excited. So excited.

April: LET THE RAINS BEGIN

April showers bring May flowers, but no one gives two farts about flowerrs at Poke the Merch. Now if April showers brought May merchandise we might care, but that's illogical and impossible to boot. Besides, nothing that rhymes with "merchandise" would make a cohesive poem, so we're not even going to try.

That being said, April has its own slew of beautiful materialistic wallet-eaters that require attention. So what are you waiting for?

March: Bring on the Leprechauns!

Sometimes, we run out of clever things to say in our posts, after all, our smart-ass banks have a finite cache dedicated to witticism. Let's make this one brief and sweet. March is the month of good drinking and Leprechauns, and here at Poke the Merch, nothing is more intoxicating than the scent of fresh merch.

So what do we have in store for you this glorious month?

February: The Month of Love

It's the second month of 2012 and here in Canada, it's cold. Therefore, when we call February the Month of Love, we're being somewhat ironic. It's hard to love anything when your eyelids are frozen together.

But enough of that cynical slander! Here at Poke the Merch, we're optimistic. We call February the Month of Love because we love what's coming, not because we're hopeless romantics or smart-asses or anything like that. As usual, we're all about the merch, because naturally, merch make the world go 'round.

1/8 Houmei (Alter)

A long time ago, I made myself a promise. If Alter's Houmei ever goes on sale, I decided, I'mma buy that expensive son of a bitch gun. She went on sale. I bought her. Then I patted myself on the back for a purchase well made.

But at close to $150 Canadian, was she really worth it? I pride myself on being able to predict what will and won't be worth my money. Did my senses proclaim victory? Or was this one of the rare moments they failed miserably?

1/8 Buddy (Alter)

I underestimated Buddy. I got her because she was a good deal and because she was an Alter. I figured she would eventually gain in worth and I could profit off her. It was a purely utilitarian purchase.

Then something strange happened. I began taking pictures, and they were all beautiful. A light sprung forth in my mind, as I experienced a small ephiphany. Oh my god, SHE'S beautiful, I realized. Then I felt like a douche for not seeing it before. How had I not realized it before?

December: Coming to a theatre near you

Once again, the time has come. The time to curl up with some hot cocoa and seriously contemplate the future. Will we que sera our way through life, or will we wrestle it to the ground? Just what does tomorrow bring? The ponderance of times to come is a taxing process. The future is mysterious and shrouded in uncertainty. It's a scary, scary place out there. Fortunately, Poke the Merch, knows exactly what to expect.

Merch, of course.

Tales of Vesperia Plush Doll: Overdrive Knight (Alter)

My first Alter purchase...is a plush doll!  Yeah, I know their figures are gorgeous since I often hear about them from Jenn, but I couldn't resist this plushie after seeing a few pictures. Look at how adorable his face is! Doesn't his head look squishy?  Don't you want to just poke him?

So what is an Alter doll like? Much different from figures, but the quality is still quite nice!  Not perfect.  Nice.