redjuice - EXT (Doujinshi)

Seems silly of me to be reviewing redjuice's EXT after I reviewed redjuice's Inside considering EXT was released first. But then again, everyone knows following sequential order is for squares, and here at Poke the Merch, we're all about circles.

After all, it doesn't matter what order I review redjuice's doujinshi. They're all gorgeous. In a sense, there's no need for me to review them at all, as "reviewing" implies there's something to critique, and redjuice Needs. No. Critique.

1/8 Houmei (Alter)

A long time ago, I made myself a promise. If Alter's Houmei ever goes on sale, I decided, I'mma buy that expensive son of a bitch gun. She went on sale. I bought her. Then I patted myself on the back for a purchase well made.

But at close to $150 Canadian, was she really worth it? I pride myself on being able to predict what will and won't be worth my money. Did my senses proclaim victory? Or was this one of the rare moments they failed miserably?

January: The Dreaded One

Oh god, it's 2012! It's the end of the world. We're all DEAD! We're all—oh wait, we're still intact. Well, good! That just means more merch.

But before we move on to the spectacular monetary dedications we've made in Janurary, let's all stop for a moment, contemplate our new year's resolutions, and thank the Mayans for making us look like fools. Don't stop for too long though, or we'll leave you behind! Janurary isn't called the Dreaded One for no reason. It's earned its reputation, and how. Follow us and bask in the splendor of Janurary's material offerings!

1/8 Makise Kurisu (Kotobukiya)

Here at Poke the Merch, we strive to be on top of things. Therefore, it is our sworn duty to inform our peers of upcoming figure re-releases.

I procrastinated on reviewing Makise Kurisu. All photos were taken. All witty commentary prepared. Yet in the busy highway we call life, I neglected to upload anything substantial. Happily, Kotobukiya's 1/8 Makise Kurisu is getting a re-release in January and I swore to review her before then. With a deadline looming above my head, I finally kicked myself and threw together something half decent.

1/6 Collet (Native) NSFW

First a foremost, merry Christmas all!

And what better way to celebrate this season of charity and altruism than with a free helping of sexy Santa eyecandy? Gives ho ho ho a whole new meaning, doesn't it? (Wink, nudge, wink)

Collet is my first true NSFW figure. "True" meaning you can goggle all her girly bits. All. Of. Them. There's really no rationalizing her as artistic nude. This girl is all smut.

Nendoroid: Totori Helmold (GSC)

Oh, lookie here! Poke the Merch's first nendoroid review! Aren't these little figures absolutely adorable? Don't you just wanna mix faces and body parts with all of them? Well, tough for me because I only have one so far, but Totori is an adorable character and her nendoroid captures her character perfectly. So how are Good Smile Company's nendoroids?

1/8 Buddy (Alter)

I underestimated Buddy. I got her because she was a good deal and because she was an Alter. I figured she would eventually gain in worth and I could profit off her. It was a purely utilitarian purchase.

Then something strange happened. I began taking pictures, and they were all beautiful. A light sprung forth in my mind, as I experienced a small ephiphany. Oh my god, SHE'S beautiful, I realized. Then I felt like a douche for not seeing it before. How had I not realized it before?

"Tales of" Series B Trading Mascot Box Set (Movic)

Here comes another set of collectable figures!  Okay, they're charms this time, but they are undeniably adorable!  I couldn't say no to these little charms when they were first revealed because I know every character in this box.  I've played all the games in this set.  It definitely reached out to me, so I pre-ordered these babies in the first week.  I've never bought anything from Movic before, but again, I couldn't fight the urges even after doing some searches.

After receiving them, I have to say they're not as awesome as I had hoped, but the cuteness probably makes up for it.

1/8 Hiyori Pixy (GSC) NSFW

Well, what do you know? Our first NSFW figure. Tasty.

When I first began collecting, I never thought I would indulge in NSFW figures. I didn't think I could ever display them without blushing my way to an ischemic stroke. Since then, I've realized I'm a shameless appreciater of gratuitous nudity with no self-consciousness.

Excellent.

December: Coming to a theatre near you

Once again, the time has come. The time to curl up with some hot cocoa and seriously contemplate the future. Will we que sera our way through life, or will we wrestle it to the ground? Just what does tomorrow bring? The ponderance of times to come is a taxing process. The future is mysterious and shrouded in uncertainty. It's a scary, scary place out there. Fortunately, Poke the Merch, knows exactly what to expect.

Merch, of course.