1/7 Beelzebub (Amakuni) NSFW

Friends, life is often filled with disappointments. Many days, I find myself underwhelmed, or disappointed, or ambivalent about a highly anticipated figure. An amazing prototype comes out, but the paint job fails to deliver. I pre-order a figure just to realize I am no longer interested when the release date comes by. Or something like that.

Which is why I was so pleased when a figure actually surpasses my expectations. Figures like Beelzebub.

1/7 Cerberus (Max Factory)

Continuing our reviews of figures that have appeared in my Year End Review trend...

Cerberus was one of my superficial buys. When I ordered her, I knew nothing of her character except that she looked cute, had an attractive outfit, and was manufactured by Max Factory, both of which were apparently enough to warrant a buy.

1/7 Margit Suzuki (Native) NSFW

Another day, another review. This time, we're headed to the classroom, where a naughty, half-German professor who definitely looks old enough to teach chemistry (wink wink) once again takes off her panties for the sake of science. Because, "If you're going to do science, it had better be German" (Native, 2013). Yes'sir, it's just another beautiful, typical day in Japanland.

Yup.

1/7 Sonico Santa swimsuit ver. (Alter)

Finally, it's appropriate to review Santa swimsuit Sonico (stranger sentences are possible, but rare). See, I've had this Sonico kicking around since Alter decided to release her in May, but never bothered to take pictures of her, because a Santa hood would look too darn silly against a lush, green lawn.

When Alter announced they were finally jumping on the Sonico bandwagon, I did an unsuccessful backflip. Sonico and Alter? Talk about blowing my mind.

1/7 Miku Hatsune ver. Type 2020 (Max Factory)

Seventh Dragon 2020 Miku is a prime example of an obligatory buy. With Max Factory's Samurai and Hacker already under my belt, was there any viable doubt I would add Idol Miku to the mix? None. Blame my rampant collector's mentality.

So, did collector's mentality result in a good purchase? Maybe. Maybe not. I speaketh no spoilers. Not in this preview, anyway. You'll just have to read on.

1/7 Menma swimsuit ver. (Max Factory)

I'm not sure why it took me so long to pick up Max Factory's swimsuit Menma. I've been a fan of her unique look since the very beginning, but even when her resale price dropped to 3000 yen, I waited. What was I trying to prove? That I'm patient or something? How illogical.

So, after a year of staring at photos of her on the Internet (like an apex creeper), I finally threw up my arms and ordered her. Instantly, a thousand weights lifted from my shoulders. Hallelujah!

1/7 Trunk Girl (Native) NSFW

Wow, has it been a while since I last wrote a review, or what? My sincerest apologies to our readers for taking such a long, unannounced break. If I've learned anything, it's that life has a way of interrupting at the most inconvenient times!

That being said, I have a lot of figures to catch up on. Today we'll be looking a tone of Native's naked and creative ladies. She's lithe. She's twisty. She's Trunk Girl! Read on, O readers!

1/7 Miku Hatsune (Max Factory)

Does this count as a retro-review? 2009 was, oh god, four entire years ago. Time, come back! I'm not done with you yet!

Granted, I didn't get my hands on this figure until recently, so retro or not, she's still "new" to me. Since I obtained Max Factory's beautiful Luka figure, I've been scouring the Miku-scape for a perfect match. Sure, I already have GSC's Miku Lat and Racing Miku 2011, but neither look great beside Luka. So I did what I do best, and began a systematic hunt for a partner.

1/7 Luka Megurine (Max Factory)

Luka Megurine has a lot going for her. Beautiful legs. Chic outfit. Presumably wonderful personality. And jazz.

Luka Megurine is my favourite V2 vocaloid. It's a shame she's been vastly ignored by figure manufacturers in favour of the all-encompassing Miku. So when Max Factory announced Luka's release, I attempted a backflip. It ended badly, but it did nothing to dampen my spirits. She was an insta-get, despite widespread concern for her face.

1/7 Erio Touwa (AlphaMax)

Denpa Onna to Seishin Otoko isn't something I usually pick up voluntarily, but thanks to its WTF opening I had to give it a try. It didn't take long for me to realize Erio Touwa is probably the most fascinating moe-blob out there. Seriously. I watched the entire series because of her.

So even Alpha Max's reputation for mediocre products, I pre-ordered this figure. Why? Because it's ham. Because it's delicious ham.

1/7 Kureha Touka swimsuit ver. (Max Factory)

Kureha is cute, cute, cute. I don't know why I find her so inexplicably adorable, especially since she doesn't have the big-eyed, doll-faced, moe-moe look.

Since the release of the Shining swimsuit line, I wanted to get my hands on Kureha (it sounds dirtier than it is, really). Her pose is adorable. Her expression is adorable. Even her fingers are adorable. Plus, I'm a huge fan of wavy hair. We need more wavy-haired girls in life.

1/7 Clalaclan Philias swimsuit ver (Max Factory)

Ah, there's our buxom princess, all vertical and on her feet. Clalaclan's an awkward name, isn't it? Sounds like a bad cough.

Why did I buy Clalaclan? So Xecty (another awkward name!) wouldn't be so alone. Now they stand apprehensively together, both as comfortable on the beach as flourine is stable.

Am I spectacularly happy with her? Eeeeeeeeeh—I can't say I am. Am I spectacularly disappointed? Eeeeeeeeh—not spectacularly. 

1/7 Xecty swimsuit ver. (Max Factory)

I've always considered myself a fan of female anatomy, so it's strange it took me so long to get a bikini figure. I admit, they always seemed so bare next to their gloriously robed counterparts (I'm sorry, that was bad, I know).

Well, friends, there's a first for everything, and I say, this beautiful lady is a fine way to begin. 

1/7 Nanoha Takamachi School Uniform Ver. (Alter)

It's over. This will be the end of me.

When this figure was first announced I had no intention of buying it. I gave it a passing glance, uttered an indifferent "Meh" and was on my merry way. Then, some ways down the road, I paused. A toxic idea took root. It would be nice, I thought inncently, to display Fate and Nanoha together...

1/7 Fate Testarossa Casual Outfit Ver. An Oath and a Little Wish (Alter)

My, what a surprise, and what a treat!

I’m not the biggest fan of the Nanoha series, and I’ll admit, Fate Testarossa is not my favourite character (forgive me, Fate's adoring masses!). However, there's no denying Fate is beautiful, and she has beautiful red eyes to match.

Plus she's wearing her hair down, and Fate with her hair down is absolutely gorgeous. And she's made by Alter. Did that seal the deal? You bet it did.